i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
