He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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