who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
