Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
