TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
