Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
