WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
