that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
