Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize