dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
