I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
