When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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