I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
