dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
