we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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