people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
