I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
how drunk are you?
Several
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
