Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
