That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
