Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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