Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
