you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
