As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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