Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
