Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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