then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
