I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm too high and old for this...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
