love makes seman taste better
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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