I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
ttyl tear gas
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
