What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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