P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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