Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
