Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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