I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
