I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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