SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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