The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
