My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
