So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
