lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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