the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
