Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
