This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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