I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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