She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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