chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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