so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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