He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
