john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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