I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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